Resistance is useless…

Friday evening, this email arrived:

from	fnu LNU<********@gmail.com>
		Sent at 6:19 PM (GMT-05:00).
to		yxxxxxx@gmail.com
date		Fri, Jul 17, 2009 at 6:19 PM
subject		Press Inquiry – Deadline

Mr. Xxxxxx,

Would you mind commenting at all on signing on as city manager in Ferris?

What are you looking forward to bringing to the city? Any changes you see that need to be made in a timely manner? How do you feel about the transition from Ennis? Any other thoughts or views you would like to share with our readers?

I look forward to meeting you and thanks in advance for your time.

My deadline is noon Monday.

fnu LNU
The Ellis County Press
972-***-****-office
972-***-****-fax

Which was just too hard to resist. Did a little research on the background via the Ellis County Press and Google Earth, then composed my reply:

from	<yxxxxxx@gmail.com>
		Sent at 7:37 PM (GMT-04:00).
to		fnu LNU <**********************@gmail.com>
date		Fri, Jul 17, 2009 at 7:37 PM
subject		Re: Press Inquiry – Deadline

I think that the new catch-and-release program that we will institute at the animal shelter will sharpen the skills of the staff there and will tend to reduce, over time, the stray population in the city because of simple exhaustion rather than the unpopular euthanasia program proposed by some of the interim city personnel.

I’m sick at heart that we have not found someone that I can feel sure will even duplicate, much less exceed, the success that Buck Rogers has had at Ferris High. It is imperative that we find a way to bring the image of prosperity and success to the city that comes with successful athletic programs, to say nothing of the contribution that such programs make to the well-being and motivation of the youth population of our city.

I welcome the challenge that the City Managership of Ferris brings. I am relieved and grateful that my exile in Ennis has come to an end and that I can rejoin the American mainstream in Ferris: It’s only 15 miles, but it has been an awesome journey!

* * * * *

To quote my daughter in Wisconsin when she found out, “Bad Daddy! Bad Daddy!”

* * * * *

Monday afternoon brought this:

fnu LNU ✆ to me

Thank you for the reply.

What is the new catch and release program about?

Look forward to meeting you soon,
fnu

I fretted about a response, but as I tried to figure out what to do, this arrived an hour and a half later – noting gratefully that we were now on a first-name basis:

fnu LNU ✆ to me

Hi Yyyy,
Would you be able to provide me with a head shot for the paper this week so I may introduce your face to the residents this week? We go to press tomorrow at noon. Thanks!!
fnu

So, despite the really great plans I had to innovate with a humane animal control policy – that combined human physical fitness with animal well-being – I felt I needed to ‘fess up. (And listen, folks, it’s getting bad out there in Texas. Today’s issue of the Ellis County Press quotes Dr. John J. Pippen thusly: “This order will force the Ferris animal shelter to revert from its incredible turnaround under Misty’s [Clark, animal control officer] [sic] into an animal Auschwitz.” [Emphasis added] Yikes.)

So my brother chipped in with a vintage photo and it all ended like this:

Yy Xxxxxx ✆ to fnu

fnu –

Sorry that I decided to be a wiseguy. You might reasonably expect that “yxxxxxx@gmail.com” would be an email address for Yyyy Xxxxxx, Assistant City Manager at Ennis, Texas. On the other hand, it could belong to a lot of other people, one of whom is me.

You should call Yyyy for his email address…and probably ask him for his photograph, too.

In the meantime, here’s mine from 1958.